June and July were due to be the months of Welsh music with us getting tickets for the Manic Street Preachers at Cardiff Castle and the Stereophonics last night in Singleton Park. These two gigs subsequently equalled two gigs not attended.
Let’s look at the Stereophonics one. I am in the middle of a depressive mood at the moment. I have not been sleeping well and the constant tiredness has caused a dip in my mood. On Thursday this week, I decided that self-care was more important than the gig and we got rid of our tickets (note – we have used Twickets before to sell tickets as it is a great tool for selling them at face value). This was not the first time we have not attended an event.
I have already told you about my anxiety causing me to miss a Frank Turner gig. But there have been others; The Ferryman play in London, Space at Pontardawe Arts Centre and many more. Whilst it is always disappointing, I believe missing things is the right thing to do.
We buy lots of tickets months in advance and never know how I will feel closed to the event, but this won’t stop us. Closer to the time, I have to do a mental health triage taking into account how my mental health is and if there are any aspects of the event which could cause anxiety.
When missing something, there are a few things I have to remember:
- Be kind to myself – it is not good to beat yourself up for not going. This will only cause a spiral of negative thinking.
- Don’t feel guilty/selfish – especially if I was going to attend with other people. On the whole, people understand.
- Avoid social media – seeing everyone enjoying themselves will do me no good.
- Keep myself occupied – yesterday I had a duvet day. I stayed in bed most of the day and caught up on TV/Films I’d been meaning to watch. I also had a constant companion, Indiana (see picture below – it’s amazing how he always knows when I need him most).
- Remember there will be other events I will be able to go to and, whilst it is always disappointing to miss things, prioritising my mental health is a good thing to do.
Today I feel less tired, and this will help. Every low spell either teaches or reaffirms things, this time it is that I have not missed work (and I’m lucky that I’ve been able to be open again about how I’m feeling to my supportive colleagues).
Not Perfect 